Kin Heart

Living Together in Love


Ten of the happiest years of my life were spent not living with the man I loved. A couple of times a week, I would cycle to his Soho bedsit, carrying my trusty sponge bag.

We loved each other to bits, but I don’t think it even crossed our minds to move in together. We certainly never talked about it.

Independence is fun, especially when there’s a beloved waiting in the wings, and freedom makes you a more interesting person. Having separate lives brings fresh air into a relationship.

And, most importantly, I do believe we can’t expect another person to be everything to us. Even in the greatest love affair there are parts of you the other person doesn’t nourish.

Living together places a huge burden on the other person to be lover, friend, entertainments manager, chef, domestic help, which is almost impossible and can lead to disappointment.
If you don’t live together, you spend more time with other people and ease the pressure off your lover.


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